


Forgivable

by Kimra



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: (Couples retreat episode), Drunk Steve, Episode Related, Gen, Introspection, Messy Steve, Pre-Slash, S06E11 - Kuelena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimra/pseuds/Kimra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is messy, but not messy enough to ruin what they have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgivable

He comes back shortly after midnight, a little alarm in the back of his head blaring ‘warning warning warning’ as he stumbles his way down the hotel corridors. He has to double-check the room number as he sways past each door. _Is it this one? No. Not a match._ And repeat.

He hasn’t been this drunk since the army- navy. _Navy. N-a-v-y Danno._ Not since Jericho Mason had dragged Steve through Darwin’s red-light district and with the promise of “Riches you’re tiny brain can’t even think of, _Smoothdog_.” and they’d ended up in a messy pile at the back of ‘French’s Parlour’ getting a forty dollar blow job from a local girl and unable to stop touching each others skin even long after she’d left with their wallets.

Steve doesn’t like the taste of it in his mouth, wants to brush it away and throw it all up. He does dangerous things this drunk. Like say yes when Alyssa invites him up to her room, and catches her friends wrist and reels her in as well. Like make out with one of his unit when they can both get discharged for the offence. Like sneak upstairs at Toby’s 18th birthday with the guys soon-to-be-divorced mum. Like kisses a boy for the first time.

Steve swipes the stupid plastic card three times before the door clicks open and he stumbles in. All he can think about is the taste of perfume and sweat coated on his tongue. He beelines for the bathroom knocking things over as he goes and wakes Danny.

In the bathroom doorway, light behind him and Danny curled up topless ( _Naked,_ but, _no. He doesn’t sleep naked._ ), Steve stares at the shadow of his friend. The taste of women on his tongue, the scent of booze and sex stuck to his skin and clothes, and he thinks about doing something reckless.

It takes his heart on a leap of excitement, his body tenses because he wonders, he wonders if Danny would let him or if he’d get a fist in his jaw. He wonders if he has it in him to just try anyway. He wonders how much persuasion it would take to make Danny forget who Steve was, to have Danny lose himself in the moment and let Steve crawl down his body and swallow him whole.

He scrapes his tongue over fuzzy teeth and wonders if he could get Danny to ignore that too.

Danny talks in that low cadence that comes late at night when sleep pulls gently at the edges and no-one wants to break the spell and be awake.

And Steve wonders.

Instead of brushing his teeth, instead of taking a shower, instead any of the other things he wants to do, Steve crawls into his own bed and closes his eyes. 

He’s forgiven himself for everything so far.

But he thinks, maybe this one he wouldn’t forgive himself for.

Because Danny is more than a girl he’s known for an hour on a plane, more than her best friend who seemed as eager as he was, more than a marine looking for a moment of emotional connection in a world where they were probably going to die too soon.

Danny is week days and weekends. He’s fighting over where to eat, and why the guest bed is lumpy. He’s the father of a little girl who calls Steve ‘Uncle’. A little girl Steve would die for as soon as he’d die for her father.

Danny is a bar-ish laugh in the middle of the absurd, and a fist in the face against impossible odds. And Danny makes the days bearable, and longingly fragile, and _God_ … 

Steve…

Steve doesn’t want to break that.

Doesn’t want to taint it with the scent of alcohol and someone else’s musk. Doesn’t want it to be a cover up job hidden by alcohol in the morning. He wants it to be everything and everything all over again. He wants it to be clean and real and forever.

So Steve goes to sleep, because that’s all that’s left for him tonight.


End file.
